Unusual Normal Story Extras
by Topminator
Summary: This is a way to use parts i couldn't fit in the normal story. Don't expect storylines bigger than a few chapters if i ever decide to put one somewhere. Also, don't expect frequent/regular uploads for a few months, i got my last year of school.


**Me** \- Alright, so you told us to do some introduction of some kind... For some kind of game... And that's what we've come up with.  
**Histoire** \- Very nice, you're done with the project! (^ o ^) It took you all more than three days! I'm looking forward to see it, and maybe everyone can gain some extra shares while we're at it...(°u° )  
**Nep** \- Yeah, listen... We thought about doing it the serious way, but it was too boring to both do and watch. So instead we went for a comedic approach.  
**Histoire** \- A... comedic approach... And suddenly i feel way less excited to look at it...  
**Me** \- C'mon Histy, you're hurting our feels that way!  
**Blanc** \- Yes, we worked a lot on it! It's only fair to be watching it without prejudices!  
**Nep** \- I worked way too hard on the editing of it!  
**Noire** \- And for the costumes i did nothing but sew for 3 days!  
**Vert** \- Some of the objects i used for the shots were broken too!  
**Chika** \- Which ones?  
**Vert** \- Not something you need to worry about now, dear...  
**Blanc** \- And i couldn't use the time i spent writing the shots down for writing my own story!  
**Me** \- And i did my best to fill it with jokes and keeping it serious!  
**Noire** \- Yeah, you're still not forgiven for that one.  
**Me** \- But i didn't write that!  
**Vert** \- Now, now, let's not stop on such ridiculous details... Instead let's start watching.  
**Histy** \- I understand... I'll watch it with as much enthusiasm as i can... (-_- )  
**Me** \- Great! Neptune, please turn on the screen, here's the cd pack, i'll roll the d-8 to decide who goes first.  
**Nep** \- Okay! *Click*  
**Me** \- *roll* 2, it's the twins' shot turn.

**Ram** \- We are the two candidates of Lowee... and these... are our weapons... They're two touch pen shaped wands that use ice magic from our mana. They're really, REALLY fun to use against monsters.

Cuts to Ram checking the stuff on the table

**Ram** \- Oh my god, who left this book here?  
**Rom** \- I think it's Blanc's book...  
**Ram** \- Alright...  
*After 30 minutes*  
**Ram** \- BLANC COME LOOK AT THIS! Hehehe...

Cuts to Ram speaking directly to the camera

**Ram** \- Some people think they can outsmart me. Maybe... *sniff* maybe... I've yet to meet one that can outsmart bucket. Rom - Hey, how about Leo and Blanc when they're together?  
**Ram** \- THAT DOESN'T COUNT!  
**Blanc** \- WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY BOOKS!?  
**Twins** \- *Run*  
**Ram** \- ahahaha, HAHAHAHA! SCREAM SOME MORE!  
**Rom** \- Heh... Scream some more...  
**Ram** \- RUN! I MEANT RUN!  
**Blanc** \- *ULTRA MAD GODDESS NOISES*  
**Ram** \- THE EYE THING! THE EYE THING! SHE'S DOING IT!

**Me** \- Alright, next is... *Roll* 4, Uni's shot!

*Ping*

**Me** \- Heh, i love these dolls.  
**Uni** \- Yeah, the big bouncing head is kinda entertaining when you have nothing to do...  
**Me** \- Yeah... *Ping*  
**Uni** \- Anyway, let's start the interview, mate.  
**Me** \- Alright. 3, 2, 1, (recording)  
**Uni** \- Hunting's a good job mate! It's a challenging work, outta doors... I'll guarantee you won't go hungry, 'cause at the end of the day, as long as there's a person left in the nation, someone's gonna want some monsters dead. Let's stop here.

After a bit

**Me** \- Yes, but what do you feel when you're out there hunting monsters? How about your feelings?  
**Uni** \- Feelings? You know who has a lot of feelings? Supervillains that plan on taking over the world with some random evil act and a nemesis! Professionals have standards!  
**Me** \- Explain.  
**Uni** \- _First:_ Be polite, because even if the enemy is the worst of the scumbags you have to be better than it. _Second:_ Be efficient, because sometimes you'll find yourself surrounded, and it's your duty to think of it as being in a target rich environment instead. _Third:_ Have a plan to kill every stranger you meet. Because being safe is better than being dead. Oh, sorry, someone's calling me... Hmm... I'll be honest with ya. Some friends do not approve of this.

She answered the phone

**Uni** \- Yes? This is Uni speaking. Oh, Kei, how are you doing? Wha- yeah, i still use my rifles. (...) Uhm... (...) Uh, Key? Kei, i'm a- (...) ye- (...) I'm not a crazed gun freak Kei, i'm a monster hunter! (...) Well the difference being that one is helping the nation and the other is mental sickness! (...) Ke- (...) Kei? (...) Yeah, put Noire on the phone...

**Me** \- I also brought a d-6, a d-4 and a coin to reduce the chances of getting used numbers. So now it's d-6 time, *roll* and it says... 4, Nepgear's.

This shot starts with me mimicking using a guitar, with a radio nearby playing some nice guitar music

**Radio** \- *More gun ver.3*  
**NepJr** \- Hey look buddy. I'm an mechgineer. That mean i solve problems. Not problems like "what is tasty", 'cause that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of culinary science. I solve mechanical problems! For instance, how am i gonna stop some big mean ugly monster from sneakin' 'n' sappin' my stuff on its blind spots? The answer? Use a mech. And if that don't work? Use more mech. Like this heavily armed monoseat exo suit designed by me. Built by me. And your best hope? Not used on you.

She got on her mech and blasted a hole in the wall, then she went away with a minigun jetpack strapped on the mech's back. I was just there. Looking.

**Me** \- Or... Like that.. Sure...

**Me** \- Nice, *roll* 3. Hey Nep? Guess what?  
**Nep** \- Finally!

**Nep** \- Is it on?  
**Me** \- 3-2-1 Aaand go.  
**Nep** \- Great, i... I don't even know where to start with you. I mean... Do you... Do you even know who you're talking to?  
**Me** \- Neptune?  
**Nep** \- Very funny.  
**Me** \- I know.  
**Nep** \- Do you have any idea, ANY IDEA who i am?  
**Me** \- You're still Neptune.  
**Nep** \- Okay, great, but let me finish.  
**Me** \- Alright.  
**Nep** \- Basically kind of the best entertainer.  
**Me** \- Entertainer?  
**Nep** \- Okay, are you listening? Hey, listen! Okay so... Grass grows, boxbirds attack, slimes jump and brotha? I care for people. I'm the kids' favourite! If you went where i was saving dimensions, you would be badly hurt!  
**Me** \- Wait, what does that have to...  
**Nep** \- WOOO!  
**Me** \- You're not gonna be serious now, are you?  
**Nep** \- How did you know?  
**Me** \- I didn't, that was a joke! Lady Neptune.  
**Nep** \- Hey, you said that like you were mocking me or something!  
**Me** \- It's just your imagination...

**Nep** \- d-4 time!  
**Me** \- Alright, *roll* aaaand 2, Noire time!

**Noire** \- What makes me a good CPU?  
**Me** \- Yeah, that's... What i asked...  
**Noire** \- If i were a bad CPU i wouldn't be sittin' here discussing it with ya now, would i?  
**Me** \- Well, actually... Uhm... Wait, is this smell... Root beer?  
**Noire** \- One infidel citizen, one small little gestional error, one errant move... AND KAPOOF! CPU is no more! *Hic*  
**Me** \- Oh, come on Noire, you're being too hard on yourself...  
**Noire** \- I'm a bloody black haired... *Sniff* red eyed loner...  
**Me** \- Noire what would you call all the other CPUs?  
**Noire** \- Rivals.  
**Me** \- They're friends Noire! FRIENDS!  
**Noire** \- Neptune has more shares than they all got the likes of *sob* me...

Tears started forming on her face

**Noire** \- *hic* ...  
**Me** \- Oh, come on Noire! Don't be so sad! I'm still your fr-  
**Noire** \- SO!  
**Me** \- Ah!  
**Noire** \- To all those lazy bone CPUs, who got *hic* spoiled from their nations just for killing a monster or two... *Beer gulp*  
**Me** \- Noire, that's one glass too many of them! Yeah, one soda for me please.  
**Noire** \- And i'll be waitin' i say! I'll be waitin' for their doom. And when they finally fall i'll be havin' just one more thing left to say to them. Yer gonna need another name for that nation of yours... How about Lastation?  
**Me** \- Well, that took an unexpected turn...

She was now looking pretty tired, and she was slowly laying her head on my lap

**Noire** \- At least... That's what i thought... Before...

And she fell asleep without finishing her line

**Me** \- Before what? Hmm... Well, she look pretty harmless when she's drunk. Hey, stop drooling on my leg!

And she stayed there for a bit,

**Barman** \- I suggest getting her on your back, that's how the other one carries her.  
**Me** \- Oh, thanks for the info but...  
**Barman** \- She says she tries to move too much at a certain point, so it's the only viable way.  
**Me** \- Oh, alright. Then could you help me getting her up there?  
**Barman** \- Sure thing, let me just put the money in the box...  
**Me** \- Thank you.  
**Barman** \- No, thank you for taking her home, i don't like drunk people sleeping in my bar when i'm closing.  
**Me** \- Understandable, have a nice da-er... night.

**Noire **\- Was it really that necessary?  
**Me** -Yes. *roll* 3, Blanc, it's your turn now.

**Financier** \- Intruder alert! A mad Blanc is in the base!  
**Ram** \- A mad Blanc is in the base?

And she started running for her stash of fully drawn books put in order in a bookcase

**Financier** \- Protect the bookcase!  
**Ram** \- We need to protect the bookcase!  
**Glasses Girl** \- Hey, could you lend me a hand here?  
**Ram** \- There, there, i got this. 6, 6, 6 (TCP/UDP internet port for doom online! That's... what the internet says at least...), uhm... 9!  
**Glasses Girl** \- Let us go! Fast!

Meanwhile Rom was running in their direction while holding a big amount of freshly drawn books

**Rom** \- Aaaaaaaa!  
**Glasses Girl** \- What the-aaaaAAAA!

They all demolished the door and got in the room. Books got everywhere on the floor

**Rom** \- AAAaaaa...  
**Glasses Girl** \- Oh, it's still here.  
**Ram** \- Oh, alright then.

And then i came through the door, holding Uni on my shoulder

**Me** \- MenTleGe-  
**Ram** \- *multiple rithmic slap*  
**Me** \- OW! What was that for?  
**Ram** \- Shut up and help us!  
**Me** \- There's no need to be so mean!  
**Ram** \- Yes, there is! Blanc is man and around here! We're in danger, even right now!  
**Me** \- Alright, alright, i see the bookcase is still here, no?  
**Ram** \- Safe and sound.  
**Glasses Grill** \- Yes.  
**Me** \- Oh, a new face, nice to meet you. Tell me, did anyone spotted a mad Blanc on the way here?  
**Glasses Girl** \- *shrugs*  
**Me** \- No? Then we still have a problem.

I let Uni fall on the desk in front of us

**Uni** \- Ow! Be careful!  
**Me** \- Shhh, you are ded.  
**Uni** \- I'm ded! _*ded*_  
**Me** \- Alright, great.  
**Glasses Girl** \- I see, that's a big problem.  
**Me** \- Indeed.  
**Internal me** \- I didn't even explain the problem, who the hell is she? She looks... kinda familiar...  
**Glasses Girl** \- I've outrunned plenty of mad people. Rage-filled assholes, like you!

While she was doodling around her foor she hit the desk with it

**Glasses Girl** \- Ow. No offense.  
**Me** \- If you managed to outrun them i assure you they were not like me. And nothing. Nothing! Like the woman loose into this building.  
**Uni** \- I agree!  
**Me** \- Shh!  
**Glasses Girl** \- What are you, a serial joke-ster or something?  
**Me** \- No. Actually yes, but... No. They would be these two here.

I pointed at Rom and Ram, who were just waving at us, and then i got out a pile of books. The girl was trying her best to hold in the rage caused from just seeing them

**Me** \- Look here. Drawings!  
**Glasses Girl** \- Hnggg... Ngg... Gggghng...  
**Ram** \- Oooh! That one's mine! And that one is Rom's!  
**Rom** \- Uh huh!  
**Me** \- Indeed, but now she's here to fight us! So listen up girls! Or fatigue starring your running legs will be the second worst pain that happens to you today.  
**Glasses Girl** \- Grrr...  
**Me** \- Huh?  
**Glasses Girl** \- What?  
**Me** \- Nothing...

I took a candy cane from my pocked and started sucking on it (don't quote me on that)

**Me** \- Blanc has already breached through our defenses.

Fade to Blanc destroying a sliding garage metal door with her hammer, the kind of door that goes up and down. Nepgear, which was defending the point, got blasted away and against a wall and fainted. (She's alright though, no one got hurt too much.)

**Me** \- You've seen what she has done to our friends!

Cuts to Uni guarding the high ground, Blanc stealthly approaches from behind and beats her up. (Again, everyone is very alright)

**Me** \- And worst of all she could be anywhere in this place

Cuts to Vert getting ambushed from Blanc, who was hiding in the ventilation system. (No. One. Got. Hurt too much!)

**Me -** She could be near this very room! She could be there! Or there! Or even-

The girl with glasses took off her glasses. It was Blanc all along (surprise surprise...)

**Ex-Glasses Girl (or gg) or Blanc** \- Here.

She attacked me and i was sent flying across the room.

**Internal me** \- I got hurt... A lot... Nothing a bit of healing can't fix at least! But no one got hurt... Is everyone a paid actor here?

**Heavy Magics Ram that appeared in my hallucination** \- Maybe... *sniff* Maybe...

**Blanc** \- I am furious!

**Everyone** \- AAAAAAAAAAA!

Everyone ran away, but Blanc stopped to take a look at the drawn books

**Blanc** \- Heh, they're still bad at drawing...  
**Ram** \- You're not... Following us?  
**Blanc** \- AAAAAAAAAAA!  
**Ram** \- AAAAAAAAAAA!

**Me** \- You and me, pardner.  
**Vert** \- Here, *coin flip* apparently me with tails.

**Nep** \- C'mon move Noire, move!  
**Noire** \- We're almost there!  
**Nep** \- Almost there, almost the-

As she said so she tripped on a rock and started rolling in the direction of a window. She ended up slamming her face on it

**Nep** \- *muffled* Oi Vert.

A melody could be heard coming out of nowhere

**Me** \- Huh... That sounded kinda familiar...  
**Vert** \- Hi Neptune. You know where the entrance is.  
**Nep** \- Aww... But it's a long walk! Can't you just open the window to let us in?  
**Noire** \- Come on Neptune, let's go to the main entrance. Legs exist for a reason.  
**Nep** \- Alright...

And they headed towards the entrance. Meanwhile Vert was just finishing to tell me about that time she teached Nepgear about bl games

**Vert** \- ... Anyway, it gets better... And then she said it was missing, and the CD was never heard of again! Hahahahaha!  
**Me** \- HHHAAAHHAAAHHHAAHHAAAH!  
**Vert** \- Aaah... A-Anyway, that's why they don't normally allow me near her anymore.  
**Internal me** \- Wait, what?

As she said so, Vert took a teapot of boiling water and, trying to brew tea with a vase, she started pouring it in. She then put the vase on the flame

**Vert** \- Now, most vases cannot withstand this heat, but i'm fairly sure this one- *vase explosion, a piece hits ran-ran in the face*  
**Me** \- *visibly sweating*  
**Chika** \- What was that noise?  
**Vert** \- The sound of progress my dear. Nothing to worry about!

Vert took out a hologram projector and tried to find the model of the vase.

**Vert** \- Come on... Come on... *Evil laughter*  
**Me** \- *Worried laughter*

She found it fast enough

**Vert** \- Oh, that looks good!

She launched the projector where the vase was, but it landed on the wrong side

**Vert** \- Very nice...  
**Me** \- Should i be here for this?  
**Vert** \- Well, no. Hehe... But as long as you are could you please reach for it and flip it? I can't seem to- Ugh!  
**Me** \- Alr-AAAAAAHight!

I held my hand with a heavily burnt nail (there were still some hot vase pieces around)

**Vert** \- Oh, don't be such a baby... Nails grow back!

She then turned to ran-ran who just got back here and whispered to her

**Ran-ran** \- No, they don't.  
**Vert** \- Actually, they do... But only for us humans and humanoids. For the ones of your kind they grow too, but it's too slow to be relied on.  
**Ran-ran** \- Really? Ran-ran learns something new everyday!

We started cleaning up the pieces of hot vase that were around. When we were done with it...

**Me** \- What happens now?  
**Vert** \- Now? Hehe... Let's go buy a new vase.

As soon as we got out of the room Neptune and Noire started a choir. The staff was mildly surprised too... Some asked for autographs, that's all i need to write

**Vert** \- I know it's that unusual for me to get out, but could you two please stop it? You're causing a commotion.  
**Choir of Nep and Noire** \- Aaaalriiiight!  
**Nep** \- Ok, but now seriously, where are we going?  
**Me** \- Pottery shopping!  
**Noire** \- Why?  
**Me** \- Because we need a new vase to boil tea with. Vert says that a ceramic vase will help a lot with the flavour.  
**Vert** \- Indeed, and not just the flavour, but its healing properties too, for both the mind and the body.  
**Nep** \- Wait Vert, don't you already have some vases around? Can't we just use those instead?  
**Me** \- Apparently they kind of were not suitable for the task. Is all you need to know.  
**Nep** \- But-  
**Vert** \- I'm sorry to interrupt you, but the more we stay here talking, the less pudding you're gonna eat...  
**Nep** \- Let's go mates!

**Histy** \- So, we're do-?  
**Me** \- Oh, there's me too!  
**Histy** \- Really?  
**Me** \- Yeah, they couldn't resist my... uhm... charm, let's say... And they asked me if they could get me in the game.  
**Nep** \- Didn't you just started telling them jokes until the manager started-  
**Me** \- Shhhh! It's starting!

**Ram** \- I fear no man. But that dummy... He scares me...  
**Me** \- Bu.  
**Ram** \- Aaah!  
**Nep** \- No, i ain't talkin' about that champ alright? He's not here, is he?  
**Me** \- No, i am not here.  
**Nep** \- Dude... How do i turn this nepping light off? It's blinding me!  
**Me** \- Switch. There.  
**Nep** \- *click* Thanks.  
**Blanc** \- One shudders to imagine what inhuman soul lies behind that smile...  
**Me** \- *extremely creepy smile*  
**Blanc** \- What jokes of chronic, and sustained happiness...

*Square dance intensifies*

**Blanc** \- Come on! Be serious for a moment!  
**Me** \- I refuse.  
**Blanc** \- What?  
**Me** \- One of my absolute favourite things to do is to refuse to be serious when serious people tell me to be serious.  
**Blanc** \- Stop that.  
**Nep** \- Seriously?  
**Me** \- Yeah, i'm serious!  
**Blanc** \- Stop that. NOW.  
**Nep** \- Are you serious Blanc?  
**Blanc** \- YES! I AM SERIOUS!  
**Nep and me** \- *giggle*  
**Blanc** \- GODDAMIT!

**Histy** \- Well, that surely was something...  
**Me** \- What do you think?  
**Histy** \- I think that we only have enough time to make one that is worse, so this is gonna be the definitive version. (PHP)  
**Me** \- C'mon, stop being a tsundere Histoire!  
**Histy** \- I am not acting like a tsundere. I am genuinely not satisfied with the chance we have at gaining shares from this.(#°n°)  
**Me** \- Whatever...

Bonus notes

I'm sorry, but soldier is too insane paragonated to every nep character out there. Even paragonated to myself! Sorry to all direct hit soldiers and conch+BBox soldiers out there reading this. (not trolldiers, i hate you guys, you never let me trimp in peace. THAT'S RIGHT SOUNDSMITH, COME AND GET ME I SAY!)

Also, previous jokes aside, have you noticed how PHP is basically a crying face in both caps and not caps? I mean, look! (PHP) (php) this language is freaking cancer! (That's a joke for people slightly cultured about programming btw)

That's it, now i am going to go play minecraft and listen to waterflame music, see ya!


End file.
